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If you are trying desperately to get your ex back it’s important to understand that the emotional pain you are experiencing right now could keep you from thinking clearly. It’s time to step back and take a good look at how you have been handling the situation so far. Many people keep blundering along making things worse so you may not even see that your actions might actually be pushing your ex even further away instead of increasing your chances that you will get your ex back.

People who have lost someone or something that they want desperately to get back frequently allow their emotions to take over and soon desperation sets in. In a break-up situation this results in you exhibiting the push away behaviors that make it much less likely that you will be getting your ex back.

When you beg or plead with your ex to come back it only drives them further and further away. You may think that if they only knew how much you love them and need them, they will finally get it and come rushing back into your waiting arms. Not likely - you may find them rushing into the waiting arms of someone else instead!

You need to regain a sense of your own dignity here. Remember one of the many classic movie scenes you may have watched where the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend character is trying desperately to win back their lover with needy declarations of undying love, or convince them that they will change, or make it up to their ex for whatever they think they did wrong?

Sitting in the theater or on your comfy couch at home watching a movie scene like that will usually cause you to cringe with embarrassment for the poor man or woman that’s on the screen pouring their heart out and humiliating themselves in the process. And you wonder if they are even aware of how much they are actually hindering their chances of getting back together with their ex.

Can you see yourself in that particular movie scene that just ran through your mind? Are you doing any of those things that keep pushing your ex away and make you feel worse and worse about yourself even though you think you can’t help yourself?

You’re sure that if you can just convince your them of your love you will win your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back, so you are determined to do anything it takes, even move mountains to get them to see how much you love them and need them. Never mind that you are building mountains between you and your ex instead. Or perhaps you think that yours is a true love and true love conquers all - wrong again! True love is the operative word here. Or perhaps we can use the word real love instead.

Real love isn’t needy or desperate. It’s confident enough to allow your ex to have the space they need right now to breath and get a handle on their emotions before you make your next move. And if you make your next move the right one you will greatly increase your chances of winning your ex back instead of continuing to push them away from you.

Now don’t give up if you feel you’ve messed things up too much - it’s never too late! Take that step back and give it a break. Use the time wisely to get yourself together and start learning a SMARTER WAY to get your ex back.

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